A message from the patriarchy

I recently joined the board of Resolve, a non-profit organization that addresses the needs of victims of domestic abuse. I was inspired to contribute my efforts by its founder and CEO, herself a survivor.  The courage and passion with which she pursues her mission would inspire anyone. Resolve’s partner is an organization called Stand-up Guys.  Why work with men?  Here’s Resolve’s answer:  “It’s time to work together with men as partners in ending violence against women. Most men are good guys; they want to help and simply don’t know how.”

If only all women agreed. Recently, a Facebook friend referred to “rigid old white male thinking.” When I objected to this blatantly sexist remark, a third friend chimed in, “Sexism simply isn’t a problem for guys. It doesn’t cost you anything.  The people with the power are seldom victims.” Well, perhaps that’s true.  But, who are my victims?  I am not guilty of rape or sexual assault.  I have never used the power of my position to coerce sexual favors.

On the other hand, one might ask, “What have I done for women?”  Well, aside from working to end domestic violence, I have hired them, promoted them and given them raises.  Many of the women I hired and promoted have gone on to senior management positions in our nation’s leading corporations. 

The #MeToo movement has raised our awareness of how microaggressions serve to marginalize women. Have I been a guilty party?  Yes.  But, I am a willing student, one who can’t matriculate, much less graduate, if I am placed in a category that casts me as part of the problem rather than part of the solution. 

David Blankenhorn, the founder of Better Angels, an organization dedicated to depolarizing our political discourse, decries our nasty habit of categorizing each other, thusly:

“Of all the mental habits that encourage polarization, the most dangerous is probably binary thinking—the tendency to divide everything into two mutually antagonistic categories… [T]his way of thinking about the world is not only polarizing, it is highly simplistic and leads mainly to pseudo-disagreements as opposed to real ones.”

A recent study by More in Common, an “initiative to build societies and communities that are

stronger, more united, and more resilient to the increasing threats of polarization and social division,” reported that although 82% of Americans “agree that hate speech is a problem in America today,” a similar percentage, 80%, “view political correctness as an issue.”  

Most of us – those the report’s authors refer to as “the Exhausted Majority” – are fed up with both progressive activists and dedicated conservatives who reject any thinking not aligned with their own and whose behavior contaminates our communities.  Exhausted though we may be, it’s time for us to stand up and be counted.

WHO WILL LEAD?